Psalm 51: Responsibility and God

Have you ever had a bad day?  Not just a, "Got up on the wrong side of the bed," kind of day but one that truly sucks?  I know I have--many times.  Some have been health-related, out of my control, days.  Like the day I ended up rolling over in a Honda Civic three times with four other guys and survived.  Or the day where I was diagnosed with cancer and spent many, many, many days dealing with and healing from that close-to-death disease.  But none of those days left me with shame like the ones caused by my own decisions and choices.

What do I mean?  When I read through Paul's first letter to Timothy and read these words:

15 What I say is true, and you should fully accept it: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the worst. 16 But I was given mercy so that in me, the worst of all sinners, Christ Jesus could show that he has patience without limit. His patience with me made me an example for those who would believe in him and have life forever.  (1 Tim 1:15-16 NCV)

Those words really struck a chord in my soul as I read them.  They were written by Paul who was considered to be one of the top leaders in the developing church and yet he still considered himself to be the worst of all sinners--and therefore greatly blessed by God's grace.  I too have felt myself to be someone who has sinned greatly in my life.  There have been many times in my life where I asked myself the question, "Should I do God's work today? Because I just did..." and would go ahead and do it but feeling increased guilt and shame as I did.

Then I heard from someone that God is bigger than we are.  I can't remember his name but I have been greatly affected by that statement.  God is bigger than my mistakes.  God can truly take everything I've done (sinful or not) and work that into the story of His grace for me.  I can take the prayer of King David found in Psalms 51:5-12 (NCV)

⁵ I was brought into this world in sin.
    In sin my mother gave birth to me.

⁶ You want me to be completely truthful,
    so teach me wisdom.
⁷ Take away my sin, and I will be clean.
    Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Make me hear sounds of joy and gladness;
    let the bones you crushed be happy again.
⁹ Turn your face from my sins
    and wipe out all my guilt.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, God,
    and make my spirit right again.
¹¹ Do not send me away from you
    or take your Holy Spirit away from me.
¹² Give me back the joy of your salvation.
    Keep me strong by giving me a willing spirit.

One of the things that made David a "Man of God" was how willing he was to turn and change when God called him to do that.  He took responsibility for his mistakes. He did not blame others or the situation.  He was by no means a sinless man, but he understood that he had a relationship with the Creator and Redeemer.  I have a model in Scripture that is not perfect, yet still longs for his Savior and wants to work his life in the ways of God.  That's what I want to do too.

I found this picture when doing some research on this blog.  Enjoy!

( I found it here: http://derekbruff.org/blogs/sketchnotes/2017/02/26/passion-psalm-51/ and he has awesome others to check out too!)

We all want "safety," right?

"We all want 'safety,' right?  I have been thinking about this question for quite a long time.  It is a desire that I have especially for my kids.  I look at each one of them and hold them so precious that I want them protected and safe.

We want the things that we love in life to remain safe and undisturbed.  I want the ability to send my kids out to play and not worry about them getting hurt, or kidnapped, or even hurt by friends.  I want them to be safe and unmolested.  I want the things that I build or decorate to remain as is and not be vandalized.  I want to sing and not have my song interrupted by someone else.  I want all that I have to do to not challenge or confront me.

I view life as a place where I am a monkey that always has friends and bananas ready when I want them.  Heaven on Earth, right? Want to join me?

However, I have also found in life that I don't grow or change without challenges.

But how can I let the things I love venture out into places where safety may not even be possible?  Can I really let go of even myself and go out in those areas too?  Should I not have rules and regulations that keep me safe?

What immediately comes to mind is the playgrounds where I've taken my kids to go and have some fun.  I don't know if you've noticed that for a number of years our playgrounds have become more and more protected.  I know that I have.  For me, this has not been a good thing.  It seems that they are making the play stuff so safe that fun is being wrung out.  I think about growing up and using swings that were probably 20 feet tall.  Swinging hard and then jumping off, smiling the whole time!  Yet today's swings sets are barely 8 feet tall--if that.  I remember jumping off and hurting myself--and using the experience as a lesson so that next time I can do it better.  Today we are so worried about getting sued that we opt for safety.

How far is my desire to be safe changing who God has created me to be?  If safety is my goal, then I become someone who would go around with a notepad and pen, writing down things that I deem unsafe.  I would put down those around me who allowed or caused things to not be safe--even telling them to change what they do.  I would have a list of rules a mile long that I feel everyone should know and follow.  I would become what they call these people in the Bible: Pharisee.  How often, even in today's world do we tread that path in some way at some time?

I have been convinced through conversations that I have had with people and connecting that with what I've read in the Bible.  Safety comes with problems that I have no power to correct.  It even may be a wrong manner of living.  Security is something that is promised to all of us.  Something that we should expect from the Lord.  Yet, that security is not the same as safety.

Security, what is that?  For me, it's trusting that the all-powerful God has promised me that I am His and will always be protected by him.  I know ultimately where I will end up: heaven, in His presence!  So then the question I have for myself is, why then do I fear what might happen to me here and now?

What do I need to do next?  I have realized that at times I want safety more than I want God's provision.  I want to feel good rather than experience the wonder that God can accomplish in my life and the lives of those around me.  I focus on good enough rather than seek and ask God for His best.  So what to do?  It may be different for you, but I am learning more and more about my relationship with Jesus.  I am facing uncertain situations knowing that God will keep me secure and have been trying to let go of my anxiety and fear of what could happen.  I will be looking for more opportunities to be a blessing in the lives of those around me and go places where I know that will be the case.

Only when I trust God do I come closer to knowing Him more fully.  Only when I trust will I experience the miracle of being one of His. As the Bible says:

"I am the Lord your God,
who holds your right hand,
and I tell you, ‘Don’t be afraid.
I will help you.’" Isaiah 41:13 (NCV)

Let us allow God to help us!