Which way to go?

A few months ago I was asked about what I felt called to do in my life.  For some reason, this question stumped me upon hearing it.  I didn't have an automatic answer.  There was no, "I am already doing it."  Nor was there an, "I wish I was doing this..."  I sat there and said, "Huh?" instead.  How does one really answer this question without becoming glib in reply?

While thinking about this I remembered a story that a speaker told once during one of his talks.  He stated that we all have two dogs inside us.  We keep them and are responsible for feeding them and giving them time to exercise.  He labeled them the Black Dog and the White Dog. (You can use whatever designation you wish for this in your own life...)  He told us that how we feed them is through the things that we choose to do in our lives.  When we choose positive things we feed the White Dog.  When we choose negative things we feed the Black Dog.   He used this story to tell us about the choices that we make in our lives.  We choose who to feed.

Which dog to feed?  White or Black?  They don't like each other and will fight to get us to choose
things that would feed them and starve the other. You see you can only feed one at a time and the other starves.  Over time the strongest, most well-fed dog will tell the choices we make in our lives.

But how can I tell which dog I am feeding?  How can I tell which actions feed the White or Black dog?  I know that personally, I tend to seek to choose things that please myself.  I will do positive things in my life but ultimately I choose the ones that make me happy.  Which I have found leads me down into a spiral of death.  Because at first, I choose things that are fairly good. But then after time, the degree of good vs. bad in my choices becomes more and more about me and less about others in my life.  It is a spiral down away from other people and from God.

So how do I know what to choose?

17This is what the Lord says—
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you what is good for you
and leads you along the paths you should follow. (Isaiah 48:17 NCV)

You see I have found that the quality of my relationship with Jesus does affect the choices that I make.  The one place that I have found to be an undeniable source of good choices to make is the Bible.  But even here I still mess up.  So, in the end, I have only to trust in God to lead me.   Without Him, I consistently choose things that aren't the best.  But God loves me enough to choose the best things.  These can be painful at times, but they help me grow!  Just like an athlete practices, breaking down their muscles as they go (1 Cor 9:25), so too do we break things as we go and God turns them into blessings in ways that only he knows how to.  How amazing!

So, which dog are you going to feed in your life?  And how will you know the best choices to make?  Feed the dog that God loves and move out of your love for Him.

We all want "safety," right?

"We all want 'safety,' right?  I have been thinking about this question for quite a long time.  It is a desire that I have especially for my kids.  I look at each one of them and hold them so precious that I want them protected and safe.

We want the things that we love in life to remain safe and undisturbed.  I want the ability to send my kids out to play and not worry about them getting hurt, or kidnapped, or even hurt by friends.  I want them to be safe and unmolested.  I want the things that I build or decorate to remain as is and not be vandalized.  I want to sing and not have my song interrupted by someone else.  I want all that I have to do to not challenge or confront me.

I view life as a place where I am a monkey that always has friends and bananas ready when I want them.  Heaven on Earth, right? Want to join me?

However, I have also found in life that I don't grow or change without challenges.

But how can I let the things I love venture out into places where safety may not even be possible?  Can I really let go of even myself and go out in those areas too?  Should I not have rules and regulations that keep me safe?

What immediately comes to mind is the playgrounds where I've taken my kids to go and have some fun.  I don't know if you've noticed that for a number of years our playgrounds have become more and more protected.  I know that I have.  For me, this has not been a good thing.  It seems that they are making the play stuff so safe that fun is being wrung out.  I think about growing up and using swings that were probably 20 feet tall.  Swinging hard and then jumping off, smiling the whole time!  Yet today's swings sets are barely 8 feet tall--if that.  I remember jumping off and hurting myself--and using the experience as a lesson so that next time I can do it better.  Today we are so worried about getting sued that we opt for safety.

How far is my desire to be safe changing who God has created me to be?  If safety is my goal, then I become someone who would go around with a notepad and pen, writing down things that I deem unsafe.  I would put down those around me who allowed or caused things to not be safe--even telling them to change what they do.  I would have a list of rules a mile long that I feel everyone should know and follow.  I would become what they call these people in the Bible: Pharisee.  How often, even in today's world do we tread that path in some way at some time?

I have been convinced through conversations that I have had with people and connecting that with what I've read in the Bible.  Safety comes with problems that I have no power to correct.  It even may be a wrong manner of living.  Security is something that is promised to all of us.  Something that we should expect from the Lord.  Yet, that security is not the same as safety.

Security, what is that?  For me, it's trusting that the all-powerful God has promised me that I am His and will always be protected by him.  I know ultimately where I will end up: heaven, in His presence!  So then the question I have for myself is, why then do I fear what might happen to me here and now?

What do I need to do next?  I have realized that at times I want safety more than I want God's provision.  I want to feel good rather than experience the wonder that God can accomplish in my life and the lives of those around me.  I focus on good enough rather than seek and ask God for His best.  So what to do?  It may be different for you, but I am learning more and more about my relationship with Jesus.  I am facing uncertain situations knowing that God will keep me secure and have been trying to let go of my anxiety and fear of what could happen.  I will be looking for more opportunities to be a blessing in the lives of those around me and go places where I know that will be the case.

Only when I trust God do I come closer to knowing Him more fully.  Only when I trust will I experience the miracle of being one of His. As the Bible says:

"I am the Lord your God,
who holds your right hand,
and I tell you, ‘Don’t be afraid.
I will help you.’" Isaiah 41:13 (NCV)

Let us allow God to help us!

Perfect Love?

1 John 4:18

I have been reading a book on "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown which is a calling to leave a life of fear and step out into a life filled with risk and intimacy.  It has hit me in many different places as I have read it.  You see, I am a man filled with anxiety and fear.  I grew up that way.  At times I have viewed my "cool as a cucumber" disconnectedness as a benefit or strength in myself.  However, recently I found myself isolated and friendless.  Ouch.

It's interesting that we often view our "defenses" as strengths.  I viewed my self-isolation as a way of keeping myself free and safe.  Yet it hurts my family because as I isolate myself from specific things, I eventually find reasons to isolate from everybody--whether or not I really wanted to.

One of the things that I keep remembering as I have been trying to fight my own self-view and mode of acting is that with my relationship with Christ I gain a very important, very powerful, very loving friend.  But I need to open up and not isolate myself from Him.  Which honestly opens me up to do the same with those around me too.  Scary!  I desire intimacy with Jesus greatly.  I want to know the plans God has for me.  I want to be saved from my mistakes.  I want someone who unconditionally loves me as exactly who I am.  God provided us with His Son for that very reason.  But I am in a practice of putting up a wall between myself and others.

"18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18 (NIV)

I have struggled with this scripture because it says that perfect love drives out fear.  But I can't do that.  I can't love anyone perfectly.  Not random people.  Not my lovely wife.  Not even myself.  I have found deep in myself a sense of perfectionism that tells me that if I can't do something perfectly, then I just need to "hang it up and go home."  I felt like I was missing the point.  Would God call me to love perfectly?  He should know better than anyone that I can't do that.  So for a long part of my life, I pushed this scripture aside.

The answer is that I did miss the point.  When I am in a relationship with Jesus Christ I do not rely upon what I can or can't do.  I do not rely on my ability to forgive others.  I do not rely on my wisdom to see me through.  I have sinned and he has taken the penalty of that sin from me.  During a sermon that I was listening to, I also realized that I don't love with my own love.  Instead, I receive love from God and love with that.  God's love is a perfect love.

In today's world, I can find much to hate.  The media constantly shows me how the leaders and citizens of the world are broken people.  My response seems to be hate towards those that are causing the pain and suffering of others.  I want the military of my country to go out and punish those who are terrorists.  I want to be protected from possible nuclear war.  I want the police to catch those who hurt people in my own area.  But all of that is positioned in my own sense of hatred--which is lined with my fear.

I remember this quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.:

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." (Ref)

Take that with the passage from 1 John 4:18.  That means that God's love is what drives the hate of the world out.  God's love drives my hate of others out.  God's love drives my hate of myself out.

The only thing that I need to do is to take a very risky step.  I have to open myself up and allow God to be intimate with me.  I need to accept His love.  And based on His love for me I need to open myself up to others.  Easy peasy, right?