Ruined *sick!* Vacations!?!? 😰

Have you ever planned a vacation and then had it spoiled by someone getting sick?  I know that I have!  In fact this last Winter Break we had some free time that we were hoping to use productively around town.  However...my wife and I both got pretty sick.  Like five minutes up, and then back to bed for a couple hours more.  Yikes!

There was the "at least we got sick on vacation and didn't have to call in sick" line that we mentioned every now and then to each other.  But what am I supposed to do when I have other plans but then find myself in a place where I cannot participate?  Ideally, do what I can do and do my best to make myself better.  If I can help others I will do that, but I need to ultimately be better to serve better.

Have I ever experienced something similar to this in my personal faith?  ABSOLUTELY!  There have been many times throughout my life where I didn't get it and I chose to do things that were contrary to God's will for my life.  Some of those were either because I didn't realize what I was doing, or I wasn't in a relationship with Jesus Christ.  But there have been more times of spiritual sickness that I have experienced because of things I have chosen to do--since becoming a Christian.

I could create a long laundry list of things that I had done, ways that I found to sin.  But the point for me is that when I stop having good, solid relationships with other people in addition to my relationship with Jesus is the time when I am most apt to choose self-enjoyment, to choose sin in order to make myself feel "better."

During these times I have regretted my choices and then prayed to God, "Please forgive my sins and help me change, amen."  But I had not confessed these mistakes to another human being.

"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so God can heal you. When a believing person prays, great things happen." James 5:16 (NCV)

It is in having these other relationships with that we truly get to express what God has already given to us: love.  I can be forgiven, but if I have not loved others, then I have never shared what Christ has done for me. When I get into a place where I feel sick and am hurting spiritually then I need to find people to share with.  Open and honestly.  My only caution for myself when doing this is to make sure I am sharing deeply only with trusted people.  I know I can share past pain with others, without really worrying about their trustworthiness.  But when I am struggling, sick, emotionally unsure, then I need guys around me that I trust and can share with.  How am I doing with that?  I have a couple friends that I can share with, but I need more to be truly open and honest on a regular basis.

God be with us and help us make good friends.

Frustration!!! What point is there anyway?

Ever feel frustrated?  I know that I do all the time!  It can be something humongous and complicated or tiny and small.  I have experienced a range of frustrations through my life.  How close that guy was when he cut in front of me in traffic this morning (like just missed my bumper!).  The tone of my wife's voice when she's relating something to me.  Being told that as I continue to grow older my body will be performing less and less as well than it used to--and there is nothing that I can do about that.  Things can really frustrate me, sometimes even to the point where it stops me from progressing onward.

So what am I feeling when I am frustrated?  I have been somewhat surprised to note that I feel many

Sometimes, right???

different feelings when I am frustrated.  I expected frustration to be some form of anger set on a low simmering heat, kind of like the sidewalks in Arizona in the summertime.  But that's not all there is to frustration.  There can be an air of melancholy desperation that causes me to be sad and want to just quit.  There can be the feeling of sinking in quicksand and being stuck, unable to get yourself out.  Frustration rears its ugly head when you are at a point where you cannot see a possibility of changing the situation that you're in.

So how have I learned to deal with frustration? I used to push all my feelings away and just try to disappear from the situation.  I used to try to control the situation, and the people, and how everyone felt about what was going on.  Even still today I still find myself trying to react like I used to: either disappear or use others.  But I have found a different path that I wanted to explore.

What I have found to be my most effective antidote to the clinging cancer of frustration is to know that there is actually a way out.  Whether it would come from me, another person, or God Himself; I need to know that there is a solution.  But how do I come to that knowledge?  It sure isn't easy--I definitely had found that I floundered in frustration's continuous grasp way too often.  When I am frustrated I often get too emotional to hear the truth or make changes in my behavior.  But the truth is what I need to have in my hands in order to break that grasp.




Here's what I have found helpful to find the truth in my situations in life:

1. Ask myself what I am feeling right at that moment.  Then I explore why I am feeling that way.
2. Ask myself what I am thinking.  Does that match my feelings?
3. Look for truth in my feelings and accept them.  Then let go of the things that aren't true.
4. Look for ways that I can follow in order to relieve myself of my frustration.
1. Sometimes I need to actually do something and not just sit there thinking about my frustration.  Am I afraid or angry?  Hungry or tired?  Lonely?  Do I just need to stand up and do my part?
2. Sometimes I need to ask someone else to help me.  This is probably the hardest thing for me to do, personally.  It can add frustration upon frustration if I am not careful.
3. Finally, there are times where there is nothing that I can do, nothing that other people can do, only God can find an answer or solution for me.  This is not a form of giving up, it is ultimately surrendering everything to God and trusting in him.

I have found these verses helpful when I am at the place where trusting God is what I need to do, what I am called to, what I must do:

33 “I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world.” John 16:33 (NCV)

7 Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NCV)

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

11 "I say this because I know what I am planning for you,” says the Lord. “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. 12 Then you will call my name. You will come to me and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will search for me. And when you search for me with all your heart, you will find me!" Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NCV)

2 My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, 3 because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. 4 Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need. 5 But if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous to everyone and will give you wisdom without criticizing you. James 1:2-5 (NCV)

I have found peace in these Bible passages when I read through them.  And there are more!  The Bible has many passages that teach us how to accept where we are and then move forward.  Often though I have found that the only thing I need to move is myself--trusting in myself never works as well as trusting God.

Which way to go?

A few months ago I was asked about what I felt called to do in my life.  For some reason, this question stumped me upon hearing it.  I didn't have an automatic answer.  There was no, "I am already doing it."  Nor was there an, "I wish I was doing this..."  I sat there and said, "Huh?" instead.  How does one really answer this question without becoming glib in reply?

While thinking about this I remembered a story that a speaker told once during one of his talks.  He stated that we all have two dogs inside us.  We keep them and are responsible for feeding them and giving them time to exercise.  He labeled them the Black Dog and the White Dog. (You can use whatever designation you wish for this in your own life...)  He told us that how we feed them is through the things that we choose to do in our lives.  When we choose positive things we feed the White Dog.  When we choose negative things we feed the Black Dog.   He used this story to tell us about the choices that we make in our lives.  We choose who to feed.

Which dog to feed?  White or Black?  They don't like each other and will fight to get us to choose
things that would feed them and starve the other. You see you can only feed one at a time and the other starves.  Over time the strongest, most well-fed dog will tell the choices we make in our lives.

But how can I tell which dog I am feeding?  How can I tell which actions feed the White or Black dog?  I know that personally, I tend to seek to choose things that please myself.  I will do positive things in my life but ultimately I choose the ones that make me happy.  Which I have found leads me down into a spiral of death.  Because at first, I choose things that are fairly good. But then after time, the degree of good vs. bad in my choices becomes more and more about me and less about others in my life.  It is a spiral down away from other people and from God.

So how do I know what to choose?

17This is what the Lord says—
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you what is good for you
and leads you along the paths you should follow. (Isaiah 48:17 NCV)

You see I have found that the quality of my relationship with Jesus does affect the choices that I make.  The one place that I have found to be an undeniable source of good choices to make is the Bible.  But even here I still mess up.  So, in the end, I have only to trust in God to lead me.   Without Him, I consistently choose things that aren't the best.  But God loves me enough to choose the best things.  These can be painful at times, but they help me grow!  Just like an athlete practices, breaking down their muscles as they go (1 Cor 9:25), so too do we break things as we go and God turns them into blessings in ways that only he knows how to.  How amazing!

So, which dog are you going to feed in your life?  And how will you know the best choices to make?  Feed the dog that God loves and move out of your love for Him.