Last night in the car my wife and I were talking about how easy it would be to permanently ruin a person's reputation these days. How many news stories have we heard recently where a woman accuses a man (correctly or not) of sexually assaulting her? Even if he proves himself clear, he'll never rid himself of that accusation. Yikes! As a father of a son, I worry about possible future ramifications for him. What if some girl tries to accuse him wrongfully? He'll always have that taint about him. However, as a father of daughters, I would want to be able to crush anyone that mistreated one of them in the wrong way. Such a knife's edge we have to tread these days!
It wouldn't be an issue if we could just trust what people have to say these days. If we lived in a culture where no one lied then that wouldn't be something to worry about. But I guess it would be fair to say the same about the other things we struggle with. I know that I personally have lied before. I cannot say, "I will never lie again" either.
How do we lie? We can outright lie. We can tell "white lies." We can shift people's attention away from the truth. We say everything except that one part that would be a lie and stop there. We can share nothing at all. We can make excuses for what we did. We can be downright crooked in everything that we say, or even just a little false once in a while. But either way, I know that I am still a lier.
Does it really matter if we lie to people? They don't really have an eternal impact on my life, do they? But they do. I have become really convinced in the last couple of years with how important relationships with others is. How I treat the world around me affects what my kids will have to deal with when they are adults. How I treat the people I interact with affects how they feel about me and my effect on my family, my friends, and the world. How I treat myself forms what I even think is truth and where I am really at in life. (I know that I can lie even to myself!) I can pray to God and lie there, but regardless of what my mouth says He knows the truth even better than I do.
So what do I do? I know that I have lied in my past. I know that even today I don't have a 100% accurate picture of where I really am at. I know that I will lie in the future. But the Bible speaks against lying. It's even one of the Ten Commandments!
Luckily, I have continued to read through the Bible, not just ending there. Paul writes to the Romans the following:
“21So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:21-25a, NIV)Jesus Christ has done what the rest of us are not able to do: He lived a sinless life and then died on the cross so that I would have my sins paid for with His sacrifice. He then rose from the dead so that I could instead have a relationship with him and live an abundant life! So regardless of what I have done in my life, regardless of what I fail to do today, and regardless of how I sin in the future, I know that His love and grace cover me! His love then moves me to seek to be honest in my life, but I don't have to worry about failing.
Let me use a circus example. Honesty often feels like doing the high wire in a circus show. I can fall off of the high wire stretched above and I know that God will save me. He asks me to climb back up and try again, but he is the safety net that keeps me from death. He is the trainer that offers words of encouragement and correction. He is the roaring group of spectators that encourages me and celebrates when I succeed and moans when I fail.
The answer to lying? God very much does not want me to lie. He desires my honesty in all things at all times. But he has also recognized that we are very self-centered most of the time. He has taken care of the consequences as we build our relationship with Him. I try to not lie in any amount. But I still do. God knows because he knows everything--and because in my spiritual life I confess to him (and a mentor) what I do. I find it so much better to not be perfect but to be real. Be real too.
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